Instead, most people fall somewhere on a spectrum between the two polar ends. People with more extroverted tendencies are often the center of attention — and they like it that way. They thrive in social situations, and they seek out social stimulation. While introverts need to escape to their homes or offices after a night out with friends or an intense meeting, extroverts find that too much alone time drains their natural energy.
They recharge their internal batteries by being around other people. Extroverts feel comfortable in large groups. They may be more likely to spearhead group sports or group outings. They may be the ring leader for weekend activities, after-work cocktail hours, or other social events. They rarely turn down invitations to weddings, parties, and other gatherings. Extroverts make new friends easily. They also tend to have a large social network and many acquaintances.
With pursuing new interests and activities, extroverts are often keen to expand their social circles. Extroverts are often described as happy, positive, cheerful, and sociable. While they experience difficulties and troubles like anyone else, extroverts are often more able to let it roll off their backs.
Extroverts may engage in risky behavior. Some theories assert that their brain is wired to reward them for it if it goes well. One study found that extroverts who take risks and succeed are rewarded with dopamine, a chemical that triggers the reward center of the brain. Click here to read more about how to improve your eye contact.
Humans smile to show that we have positive intentions. When I felt uncomfortable, I used a fake smile, or I forgot to smile altogether. But outgoing people have natural smiles, so you need to learn how to smile in an authentic, natural way.
Go to a mirror and try producing a genuine smile. Pay attention to what a real smile feels like. Try to avoid closed body language, such as crossing your arms or holding something over your stomach.
These gestures signal that you feel nervous, annoyed, or vulnerable. For more tips, see this guide to confident body language. High energy people appear more confident, dynamic, warm, and engaging. If you want to seem and feel more outgoing, try raising your energy. Do you know someone who radiates positive energy? What kind of things do they talk about? How do they move? Visualize yourself behaving in a similar way, and experiment playing that role in social settings.
Listen to some charismatic people. Monotonous voices are dull and draining to the ear, so vary your tone and volume in conversation. Express yourself using your body, not just your words.
High-energy people tend to appear animated. They let their faces show their emotions and use hand gestures to emphasize their points. Practice your gestures in a mirror to get the balance right. Try to get some exercise every day and eat a balanced diet that makes you feel energetic. End a conversation while the energy in the room is still high.
Make the other person feel good about themselves. Take every possible opportunity to practice basic social skills, such as small talk and using open body language. Practice with coworkers, neighbors, and anyone else you see regularly. In time, they could become friends. Dog parks, cafes, gyms, libraries, and launderettes are all excellent places for meeting new people. Everyone is there for a particular purpose, so you already have something in common.
Look on meetup. Maintain your existing friendships while meeting new people. Dare to be the one who makes the first move. For example, instead of ordering all your groceries online, go to the store, and use the opportunity to make small talk with the cashier. Ask friends and colleagues to introduce you to other people with similar interests.
As you become more confident, you can also become a connector. This can be the first step toward building a group of friends. Funny people are usually keen observers of the world around them.
They point out contradictions and absurdities that make everyone see things in a new way. The funniest remarks are usually spontaneous and arise naturally from a situation. Watch funny films and TV shows. Do not copy jokes or stories, but observe how characters deliver great lines and why they are effective. If jokes fall flat, ask yourself why.
Fill in this Humor Styles Questionnaire to find out what kind of humor you tend to use. The questionnaire will also tell you how other people might perceive your jokes. Self-deprecating humor is effective in moderation, but if you put yourself down too often, others might think you have low self-esteem. They may also feel uncomfortable because you have exposed your deep personal insecurities. Reframe the experience as a learning opportunity.
Not everyone enjoys joking around, and some people only respond to very specific types of humor. It can easily turn into bullying, and you may inadvertently hit on one of their deepest insecurities.
If you accidentally go too far and upset someone, make a quick apology, and change the topic. You can find more tips on how to be funny here. Smile and make eye contact with other students nearby, then move to small talk if they seem open to conversation. Simple remarks about the class material, an upcoming test, or why you like the professor are enough to start a conversation. Pick a role that involves direct contact with customers or service users.
Take small, sustainable steps at your own pace. Find the place people like to go during their breaks. When you have some free time, go there too. Offer more than a one-word answer; give a response that invites a conversation. I went to the new art gallery that just opened in the city. Did you do anything fun? Changing your attitude will make you naturally more curious and outgoing. Write down a list of ideas and points you want to raise. Instead, share sincere compliments, focus on what is going well at work, and lift other people up.
Your coworkers will be drawn to your positive energy, which in turn will help you feel more confident. Even half an hour is better than not going at all; you can have a great conversation in 30 minutes. As you become more comfortable around your coworkers, you can try to stay for longer periods each time.
These answers will help you prepare good questions and topics for conversations. For example, if the organizer works for a tech company and has invited some colleagues, it might be a good idea to skim a few of the latest tech-related stories on your favorite news website.
Before leaving for the party, decide what you want to achieve. Having a goal keeps you focused on other people and your surroundings.
Be specific. Perhaps the person you are talking to might look slightly bored. They might excuse themselves and then go and talk to someone else.
The next step is to identify how you could respond if your fear came true. To continue the example above, you could take a few moments to breathe, get a fresh drink, and then find someone else to talk to. As a general rule, most people go to parties to unwind and have fun.
Stick to safe topics. When you meet someone new, ask them how they know the host, then focus on learning more about them. Avoid getting into heated debates and steer clear of potentially controversial subjects. For more inspiration, check out this list of questions to ask at parties. Outgoing people tend to join group conversations if they think the topic is interesting.
To do this, begin by standing on the edge of the group. If they seem open and friendly, make eye contact with whoever is speaking and smile. Then you can make a contribution to the discussion. Alcohol is a popular social lubricant at parties. A few drinks can make you feel more outgoing and confident.
You may also discover that the connections you make with other people are more meaningful and authentic when you drink in moderation. Some situations are harder than others. Compared to extroverts, introverts prefer less stimulating environments and find social events more tiring. They tend to focus on their inner thoughts and feelings instead of looking for external stimulation.
Introverts are content to spend time alone and are often very self-aware. However, sometimes you might want to try being more outgoing. For example, if you want to make new friends, acting more extroverted can make it easier to attract others to you.
We can become so attached to a label or identity that we feel reluctant to change our ways. It can even feel as though you are betraying your true self. Yet you can change your behaviors without losing sight of who you are.
Humans are complex. We are capable of changing our personality traits and can adapt to new social environments. Sometimes the problem is that people who struggle with something like public speaking due to shyness often set themselves very high standards for how they should perform in such a situation, she explains.
If they are able to relieve some of the pressure on themselves, allowing themselves short pauses to take a breath might help alleviate some of that anxiety. Focusing on the audience rather than yourself can help you be less caught up in whether you stumble over your words. She also suggests challenging yourself by being more open to new situations. This means changing your script. Ask yourself what you fear most about social situations. Are you worried about appearing boring?
Or running out of things to say? The more you know about your anxiety, the more you can start to challenge it. Jessie Sun, a PhD student at the University of California Davis who researches the psychology of personality, stresses that shyness and introversion are not the same thing.
Western culture puts great emphasis on making eye contact - but not every other culture is as comfortable with this Credit: Getty Images. Shy people are often introverted, but they might also be extroverts whose anxiety gets in the way of being sociable. And non-shy introverts might be socially adept but just prefer their own company.
But could introverts get in on some of that joy and enthusiasm — by just acting extroverted? Fun fact: did you know positive emotions can help protect you against work burnout?
People with high emotional intelligence EQ are able to connect on a deep and meaningful level with others and as a result, enjoy fulfilling relationships. The rest is other factors, including EQ. Hiring managers are even using an EQ test to sort through potential candidates. The core of an outgoing personality is confidence. However, there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding confidence, what it means and how to get it.
The biggest myth is that confidence is a personality trait. To help you get started, check out these three simple yet effective techniques:.
In order to connect with others, you need to become comfortable in your own skin. This is what will naturally boost your confidence. Self-awareness is knowing yourself on the deepest level. What motivates you? What are your values and beliefs?
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